We booked up on a Ha Long Bay tour after hearing so much about this wonderful place. This is definitely worthy of a visit and after all, it is classified as one of the worlds natural wonders.
Our tour was to consist of two days and one night aboard a junk boat that would take us on a majestical journey around the bay cruising past a dense cluster of hundreds of limestone stone karst formations and a stop off at a couple of small islands to visit some caves.

We took a mini van ride from Hanoi to Ha Long City(Port) where we boarded a Junk boat.
It was obvious from the start that our guide was a bit special. In his initial introduction to us he declared his love for us all, alarm bells started ringing!
At the port we were told to wait to one side while he went off to organise the tickets for the tour.
There we sat and watched as group after group of tourists arrived then left on their junk boat adventure in what seemed like minutes on a well organised tour.
An hour later we were still sitting in the corner of the port waiting. All we could do was watch our guide run all over the place like a headless chicken trying to organise our tickets. It turned out there were too many people booked onto our tour and he was running around to try and squeeze the excess onto the other groups. Occasionally he would come panting over and ask for a group of two or three people and then scream at them to “Go there, you go there”.
At this point we realised we had maybe booked with the wrong company. There were so many companies offering the same tours and most of them had the same name of “Sinh cafe Tours” which was supposed to be the official tour operator in Hanoi. The agent even told us this while pumping his chest saying ‘but we are the real Sinh Cafe! We were starting to wish we hadn’t bargained so hard on the price.
Still, an hour and fifteen minutes later our guide re-joined us holding the tickets and he excitedly handed them out. We then proceeded through the gates and were just about to board the boat when we were stopped, pushed to one side and had to watch as a group who had just arrived at the port were ushered onto the boat which departed immediately. Forget Sinh Cafe Tours, we were booked on to “The Mickey Mouse tours inc”…
After more waiting and watching our guide get animated, another boat pulled in and we started to board!
We couldnt leave just yet however as there was one more episode to come. The headcount! There was still too many people on our boat!!
Some, like us, were booked on a one night/ two day package while others were on a two night/three day tour. Confused?? We were and so was our guide!
We were starting to feel sorry for him until he threw a major hissy fit and started yelling at everyone, and no one at the same time, saying “Why you not listen to me!, I tell you, you go there and you go there, but you no listen to me!” At this point he nearly burst ino tears, but as we were to find out later these were to be crocodile tears that could be switched on and off at a moments notice!
We finally embarked, two hours later than everyone else and all was soon forgotten as the excitement of earlier came back and we sat down to a nice lunch and got to know our fellow passengers. After lunch we were allocated our cabins only to find out that there was actually still too many people for the number of cabins. Fortunately for us we were allocated a cabin first and immediately trotted off to settle in, while the fun ensued above. A few minutes later we could hear some animated voices from above so we left our cabin to investigate. Back on deck we witnessed the guide trying to match together two sets of two different guys into one cabin with a double bed! Of course they werent happy and quite rightly steadfastly refused to share the one cabin. Eventually the crew agreed to sleep on deck and forfit their own cabins for the night!
After lunch we were again cruising amongst the limestone karst formations and these were really stunning. What made it more mysterious was the light mist that was drifting in. They look like monolithic islands rising from the ocean covered in thick Jungle vegetation on the top.

An hour later we stopped at an Island to see ‘TWO’ caves. I emphasize the two there for good reason. We were given 40 minutes to go off on our own to visit the caves. Everyone seemed to rush through the first cave. They appeared to keep walking while taking photos and before we knew it we were on our own. Studying the different formations of the stalagmites and stalactites. Unfortunately, and this seemed quite sad at the time, some of the big stalagmites and stalactites had actually been chopped off by some over zealous builders.
On to the next cave and this one seemed deserted. Sandra didnt go up to this one so I did it solo. This cave was much better than the first and it had a wooden walkway built all the way through. This felt much better than the ruin of the first cave. After a while I left to go back to the boat, feeling a little strange that no one else was around!
I caught sight of Sandra and excitedly ran towards her about to tell her how much better the second cave was only to be greated with a frowned “Everyones waiting for you, and the guides gone off to look for you!”.
Blimey, I reckon I was 5/10minutes late and he’s gone to look for me. 10 minutes later he appears, running along the jetty and he keeps running onto the boat and up the steps to deck. He falls dramatically at my feet screaming “Why, why you no listen to me? My friend, I been everywhere looking for you” then he pretends to collapse as he’s holding my legs. All I can do is puzzlingly look down at this wreck of a guide and then look around me at everyone else. All seem dumbfounded and I can see it in everyones eyes that they’re thinking the same thing we were earlier - this guide just isn’t right!
Next up was the canoeing, and this was the sole reason why some people had come on the tour: to canoe in Halong bay. Only from now on the guide said we were running late which he pinned entirely on me, forgetting that I was only 10 minutes late back from the caves, he seemed to forget about the 2 hours we lost at the port due to him not being able to count!. So we were told we couldnt go canoeing, because of me. After a near mutiny on the junk boat he eventually gave in and 10 minutes later we were canoeing in Halong Bay. All beit only for 40 minutes. This was amazing though and a real highlight. The Bay was becoming more majestic and mysterious by the minute due to the continuing mist that was enveloping the entire bay. The water was emerald green and very still. It was a real pleasure to paddle out to the middle and just rest there, floating amongst the limestone karst formations. Back to reality, we looked to the jetty where we could see some arms frantically waving and their attached body jumping up and down. We soon realised that this was our guide again, obviously trying to tell us the 40 minutes was up. When we reached the jetty he was yelling again “Why you not listen to me my friend?! I tell you 30 minutes but no, you take 45?!” I won’t say I lost it at this point but I was very frosty with him.
Onboard we all relaxed a bit, had dinner and discussed the very eventful day over a few beers.
Next day we arrived at an island, Dao Titop, to see a pagado. Now this is where all the tensions between all of us and the guide came to a head. When we had got off the junk and stepped onto the island the guide immediately insisted we had to pay an admission fee to go to the pagoda. With ths we all got our backs up and refused to pay, we all thought it should have been included in the price of the tour. Steadfastly we refused to pay and the guide then started shouting at us all again to now get off the island and back on the junk. He got quite animated and even physically tried to push a few people onto the boat. But like a true mutiny we all held firm, insisted we werent leaving the island. Even if we couldnt go up the hill to the pagoda we were staying put, right where we were for the allotted hour! It was great to see the guide so helpless and throwing another pointless hissy fit while we all enjoyed the moment!
A few hours later we arrived back at Ha Long port for our last supper and the van back to Hanoi. It was an extremely interesting tour, but it could have been just fantastic had it not been for the guide.